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The Strangest Theft Ever
at an island in east blue, Buggy the clown and his crew are celebrating another town completely subjugated by using up all the sake in the now captured tavern. The party has been in full swing for several hours now Cabaji: 'Cap'n, this has to be the single largest haul we have made yet. '''Buggy: '''Gyahahahah!! This is only the begining!! '''Pirate: '''Wohoh! We're going up in the world!!! '''Gunner: '''Let’s drink some more! Try some of this rum, I found it under the counter. Tis good stuff. ''A large clay bottle is passed around the circle of pirates, who all drink in turn , and comment positively 'Pirate: '''gah! Strong stuff too! Heh heh.. '''Swordsman: '''s’got quite an edge.. '''Juggler: '''hahaha! Good indeed!. Cheers! '????: 'Oh th- GAH-Guh.. guh..ugh.. Tha-… ….That’s West Blue Cider! What the heck’s it doing all the way over here?! ''Most of the pirates turn and stare, hearing the unfamiliar voice. It’s owner had been slouched on the arm of an unoccupied chair, but as he drank had suddenly jolted out of his chair and lurched across the room, spinning on the spot, crashing to the ground, rolling over, and then clutching at his throat for a second, before sitting up with the remark about Cider. By this stage, every last pirate has seen the disturbance, and so he looks up into a sea of surprised or angry looking faces. 'Dimitri Marcellus: '''Sorry. Cheers! Good stuff! Kanpai! ''He passes the flagon to Moji, who takes it unresistingly. Dimitri looks back at the crowd and frowns. 'Dimitri: '''Carry on.. '''Cabaji: '''Who the devil are you? '''Dimitri Marcellus: '''No idea! Dimitri Marcellus is what they call me. And that’s my name, so it’ll do.. but anyway, don’t let me interrupt anything! I’m just here for- ''He stops suddenly, freezes solid, and doesn’t move for a long second. Then he stares at the assembled pirates. Then at Buggy. Then at the bottle that Moji is still holding, then back at Buggy, then at the pirates, then at Buggy again. 'Dimitri: '''Oh yeah I forgot. I’m here to take that thing.. ''He stands up. 'Dimitri: '''Hey captain Buggy, you have something I’m after. Mind handing over- ''There is a loud clatter and everybody produces weapons and aims at him 'Buggy: '''Don't tell me! You're here for my treasure! Think you can take it?! '''Dimitri: '''That handful of gold? Nah, you can keep it, only don’t- ''He is drowned out by gasps around the room 'Buggy: '''You want to incur my wrath?! I have twenty five men with me! And- '''Mohji: '''And a lion. '''Buggy: '-....! And a lion! Mohji, I've told you not to Interupt me!... And we're armed! If we were to attack- '''Dimitri: '''Wait, hold on a sec now. If you do that something terrible will happen! The tone of his voice scares several of the pirates, who start to back away. Cabaji frowns 'Cabaji: '''What sort of terrible thing? '''Dimitri: '…. Well…. I’d probably be hurt. That’s pretty terrible. So don’t attack! 'Cabaji: '''Or? '''Dimitri: '…. Blast. The pirates all lunge for him, he tries to flip over their heads, trips mid flight and crashes to the ground, leaps up, and charges straight for Buggy, a short blade popping into one hand from somewhere. The pirates dive for him, he ducks, and everyone in the room, himself included, crashes into a heap. With most of the pirates drunk, and in the close quarters, weapons are useless, and when the pirates fail to grab him it quickly becomes a madcap brawl. Eventually he finds his way out and steps back, opening a window. 'Dimitri: '''Thanks guys! Got what I came for! See you around! ''He jumps out the window. The pirates eventually extricate themselves. 'Gunner: '''What was he after? '''Buggy: '''I don’t know. But get after him already! Get it back! Moji! Cabaji! '''Moji and Cabaji: '''Aye Aye Captain! ''The two run out the door, and several of the crew head after him. Buggy climbs to his feet, and immediately topples over sideways 'Buggy: '''Wait what? Somethings… What the? ''Most of his left leg below the knee is gone. He searches around and finds the leg eventually, but his foot is nowhere to be found. 'Buggy: '''What? That? He wouldn’t have surely.. WHY??????!! ''Meanwhile, on the outskirts of town, Dimitri runs away, holding the stolen foot in one hand. When he finally pauses to look back, Cabji and Moji, persuing by unicycle and lion respectively, are already catching up. 'Dimitri: '''What? Not fair! They get transport! ''He runs on and ducks around the corner behind a building. Cabaji, who is further ahead of Moji, comes around first, drawing his sword before quickly whirling round the corner on his unicycle. There is a loud thud. Cabaji is knocked over backwards, while the unicycle keeps going, as he collides with the wooden staff Dimitri had seemingly produced from nowhere. He climbs to his feet, but Dimitri steps forwards and delivers several quick and heavy blows with the staff, knocking him down. This time he doesen’t try and get back up. Dimitri looks around, and raises the foot. 'Dimitri: '''One down I see. Now to make a getaway. But first I need to sort this thing out. Then.... ''He turns and looks at the unicycle, and then smiles to himself. 'Dimitri: '''Why not? How hard can it be… ''Moji, riding on Richi, arrives to find Dimitri in front of the collapsed Cabaji, balanced precariously on the unicycle, holding his staff like a lance. '''Moji: '''Huh? '''Dimitri: '''I was planning on running, but that wouldn’t be fun. Besides, it seems going in a straight line quickly was really really tricky.. '''Moji: '''You’re a fool not to run away, you realise? Me and Richi will tear you to pieces.. CHARGE!!!' ''Richi the lion runs towards Dimitri, who slowly starts to peddle, and eventually finds himself rolling toward Moji and Richi, slowly at first, then speeding up, quite possibly out of control, and giving the odd impression of a rather manic jousting knight. As they close in he aims his improvised lance at Moji, while Richi tenses and then pounces at him. Dimitri: 'Here we go, now let’s..Wait, not balanced, not balanced,..… oh crap, I’ve done it a- ''He falls over backwards and skids to a halt. Mohji and Richi fly right over his head. 'Dimitri: '''hahahaha! Just kidding! ''He kicks upwards with both legs, flipping lion and rider end over end.They land on top of Cabaji, who was just climbing to his feet somewhat groggily,knocking him unconscious. By now most of the other pirates are arriving, carrying Buggy on an improvised stretcher. Mohji and the lion get back up, somewhat drunkenly, and stagger forwards. 'Mohji: '''Were you hoping that would stop us? '''Dimitri: '''Well, that would have- ''Richi leaps, claws lashing out, and Dimitri jumps back, narrowly evading them. He is forced to leap clear on the next attack again, then again as Richi snaps at him. Dimitri tries to swing his polearm in retaliation, but it gets swatted away. Before he can retrieve it the cat leaps again, and would probably have scratched across his face and knocked him over if he hadn’t suddenly jammed his arm in its mouth. 'Watching pirates: '''WHA?! '''Mohji: '''Hahahaha got you! ''There is a short moment of stunned silence in which Richi starts to chew. Then there is a loud crack and the lion suddenly lets go and recoils, spitting out something white. 'Dimitri: '''Not hungry? '''Mohji: '''How… His tooth?! Richi.. are you ok?! What happened? ''The pirates all stare at Dimtri’s right arm, which is partly visible through his shredded coat sleeve. There are a few spots of blood visible, indicating that the lion actually bit him, but rather than the gaping wounds one would have expected, there are only several scratches, and the glint of something metallic. 'Buggy: '''He’s got some kind of armour… but it’s.. Inside his body? '''Dimitri: '''The word is cyborg. I’m a mecha-pirate! '''Mohji: '''But that means… Captain.. help! There’s no way- *THUD* ''Mohji hurtles through the air as Dimitri spins and catches him with a heavy left handed backfist, sending him hurtling into a wall. Richi the lion dives at Dimitri again, and is in turn smashed away by a heavy uppercut. Both land and don’t get up. 'Dimitri: '''Nothing personal. ''He starts to walk off again.Buggy, meanwhile, scoops up his stolen foot, which had been left behind, and puts it back in place. 'Buggy: '''That guy… I don’t forgive him. '''Gunner: '''But captain.. he took out Cabaji and Mohji and Richi… and he’s not even completely human.. There’s nothing we can do against a guy who’s whole body is armour. '''Buggy: '''There has to be a weak point somewhere. I just need to get him to fight. Watch closely men.. ''Buggy steps forwards and shouts at the retreating cyborg 'Buggy: '''Turn around! I’m not done with you yet! ''Dimitri doesen’t react 'Dimitri: '''But I’m done with you! I got what I came for already! '''Buggy: '''My left foot? I took it back. '''Dimitri: '''Oh. ''Dimitri stops for a while, then after a while starts to laugh uncontrollably. 'Buggy: '''hmmm.. '''Dimitri: '''You… thought…….. that was my target? Don’t you…. .realise?! ohohohoho… '''Buggy: '''Guh… Turn and Face me already! ''He fires one hand at Dimitri, hoping to grab him. Instead Dimitri ducks out the way and all Buggy ends up with is a battered black tricorn hat. 'Buggy: '''Drat.. I missed. '''Dimitri: '''Hmm? My hat! '''Buggy: '''Eh? '''Dimitri: '''Give that back. ''Realising that he might have found a weakness, Buggy throws the hat down behind him, and raises his knives. 'Buggy: '''Come and Get it! '''Dimitri: '''If you insist. ''Dimitri moves. Buggy didn’t even see the attack, but suddenly finds himself cut in half for no apparent reason as Dimitri appears right in front of him, then catches him in the face with a heavy punch, sending his top half flying. As he lands he attempts to kick Dimitri with his legs, which were still standing in their place, but Dimitri grabbed his foot again, and threw the disembodied legs at Buggy. 'Dimitri: '''You had your chance to let this go. But you took my hat. I like my hat. ''The pirate puts the Tricorn hat back on, and starts to raise his right arm. Too late Buggy realises just how angry Dimitri is, and realises his mistake. He quickly sits up and aims both his fists, with daggers clenched between fingers, to fire 'Buggy: '''Bara Bara- ''Dimitri, still angry, his now taking aim at Buggy with a huge cannon barrel that had apparently formed from his significantly smaller right arm. The sheer scale of the gun requires him to use his left hand to steady it. '''Dimitri: '''This is not going to go well. '''Buggy: '''Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!- '''BOOM The shockwave from the blast knocks all the pirates flying. By the time they climb back to their feet Dimitri has vanished without a trace. After an hour’s searching they find all of their captain’s somewhat bruised body parts, scattered across most of the town, and help him to reassemble. It was several months before they worked out what had actually been stolen. On the far side of the island, Dimitri arrives after his long walk. His ship, a large galleon-like vessel, is moored nearby. The ship has an odd, almost patchwork appearance, made out of several different kinds off wood, with no apparent overall pattern, and also with several odd sudden changes in its design and pattern. Flying from one of it’s masts was a white flag, marked with an angular, almost crystalline looking black skull. As Dimitri climbed aboard, two men emerged from the cabin to meet him. The first was shirtless, reavealing dark tanned skin covered with many wounds and scars, and has long dreadlocks framing his grinning face. George Marley: 'Hey, you’re back already Bro? That’s good.... Did you overdo it again? I heard that from here you know.. darn was that noisy…. ''The second man, by contrast, was wearing a heavy coat that was thick enough that it could probably have had armour plates in it. He had a dark green scarf obscuring the bottom half of his face, and wore orange tinted shades. His right hand had a thick metal gauntlet, coloured a dark, almost black grey, covering it, and most of his arm, while a holstered gun hung on his left hip. 'Caden Byrn: '''Did you get what you came for? ''Dimitri reaches into his pocket, and produces an ornate dagger, set into an odd spring-loaded mechanism. He carefully pulls the mechanism apart and inspects it. '''Dimitri: '''No question. Daedalus Komouri’s masterpiece. A multipurpose knife of comparable quality to a meito sword, built into a multipurpose tool of his own design. Probably worth thousands of beli. How on earth Buggy never realised the flick-knife in his shoe was so valuable is a mystery to me. '''Caden: '''Heh.. I don’t get it either.. still, I’m assuming you’re not just going to sell it after that? '''Dimitri: '''Of course not, no. What I wanted it for, apart from the fact that it’s pretty much unique, is the fact that it can also work as a log pose. '''Caden: '''What? Already? '''Dimitri: '''Why not? '''Marley: '''Hahah! There’s no point waiting! Let’s get moving! '''Caden: '''So we’re already off to ''that ''place? Guess it falls to me to keep you out of trouble again…. But true enough, we won’t get much stronger or more prepared here. '''Marley: '''Allright! We’re off! '''Dimitri: '''Set Sail.. For the Grand Line!! '''To be continued Category:stories Category:Obsidian Pirates Category:13th Madman